“Absolutely.”
Jamie’s voice grew hard. “Now would you think about what you just said.”
I did and got no further. “What do you mean?”
He muttered a few mild curses and looked up at me with a dark frown. “I wonder if I shouldn’t tie you up and drag you back to Hadronsstead for a year while I teach you a few things.” I returned his glance steadily. He sighed. “No one has ever told you about amulets, have they? No, I haven’t and it’s damn sure no one else would.” He shifted in his seat to race me directly. “Lanen, you know of the minor demonlords, don’t you? Sorcerers, demon callers?”
I nodded.
“Well, aside from meddling with more dangerous things, I had often sell magical abjects made with the aid of minor demons, to keep them in the materials they need for their damnable work. The most popular are amulets of Glamour. Their single object is to make the wearer irresistible to the opposite sex, and they work beautifully for that—but to those of the same sex the wearer is not changed at all.” Jamie took my hand. “My girl, you know there, is none would be more pleased than I to see you happy with a man. But this Bors, if that’s his name—I only caught a glimpse of him, but from what I could tell he’s no more handsome than I am, and he looks nearer my age than yours. Now tell me, if you can: did he seem to have a glow about him?”
“Yes, he did,” I said: As I spoke I could see it, a faint outline of light around him: I didn’t remember noticing it, but the memory was there.
And suddenly I was furious. Acting like an idiot child from the nearness of an attractive man was silly but no harm to any. Being made to do so was base deception and it made my blood boil.
Especially because I was deeply smitten with him. Damnit. Jamie finished his drink and stood. “Right, then, my girl. Let’s go.”
He surprised me out of some of my anger. Usually when I was in this state he just let me stew. “Where?”
“Down to the river.” I stared at him. “Or do you not want to learn when the boats set out for Corli?” he asked.
My laugh surprised him. “I thought you were going to help me find Bors and pitch him in!”
Jamie smiled, a gleam in his eye, “That’s an idea whose time has come, sure enough, but I don’t think he’s worth the effort.”
I laughed again. “True enough. To the river it is!” We strode out of the inn and down the street, laughing as we went.
It didn’t take us long to find the riverboats. We still heard no word of a sailing from Corli, but several of the captains said ward would never come so far north in any case, and we’d just have to go to Corli herself to find out. When I asked about transport, I found that most of them moved goods rather than people, but Jamie and I did find one that was taking passengers all the way to the harbour at Corli. The owner and captain of the riverboat Maid of Ilsa was a young man named Joss. He agreed to take me, but where most were waiting until the fair was over some three days hence, he was leaving the next day at sunrise. He said it would take the best part of three weeks, which delighted me—it was less than half the time of overland travel. I paid him and promised to be at the pier well before dawn. .
Before we left, Jamie took him aside and spoke with him. I strongly suspected that Joss was getting an earful of advice regarding my safety and well—being on this journey—at any rate, both he and Jamie seemed content when they parted.
As Jamie and I walked back to the fair, I was surprised that I was not filled with pleasure at the idea of setting out on my journey. Instead, sadness had claimed me; I left on the morrow, and from now the rest of my journey must happen without Jamie. I had thought all this time that being a wanderer on my own meant being alone, and the idea had seemed sweet. Now I saw with eyes grown older by two weeks of travelling with one I loved. It felt like years. I would miss him terribly.
As we drew nigh to the inn, Jamie said quietly, “Well, my girl, you’re off at last.” A smile touched his face. “At least you’ve the sense not to head into the mountains at this time of year: I’ve done that much good at least.”
The sadness in his voice was hard to bear.
“Now mind yourself in Corli, my girl. The docks are rough, and they’re not above cutting a purse in the streets in broad daylight anywhere in the city, though they usually stop short of a throat before dark. Corli is far larger than Illara, and that much more dangerous.” He stopped, took my shoulders in his hands and stared into my eyes. “Are you still determined to do this alone, Lanen? Could I not come with you, as far as Corli? I could tell the lads to take the silver back, they’re trustworthy, I’m sure that riverman has another berth for the trip—”
I had dreaded this moment, but only truth would do between us. “Jamie, I’ve had this argument with myself ever since we left Hadronsstead.” I blinked fast to keep the tears from my eyes. “You know I love you more than anyone alive. You’re my only family. But I can’t rely on you forever, any more than I could stay at Hadronsstead. If ever I am to live my own life, I must do this alone. I’m sorry.”
He closed his eyes and let his arms fall away from my shoulders. “Aye, well. I thought I’d try.” He looked up again, his expression echoing my own determination. “Lanen my girl, I hate long goodbyes. If I’m not to go with you I’ve no more business here, and to be honest I couldn’t bear sitting around tonight waiting for you to leave. I’m off back to Hadronsstead tonight. I’ll only need long enough to pack.”
I stared at him. “But Jamie—”
“Now, don’t you do it. You’re right, it’s best this way. You’ve the rest of the day to have a look at the fair, be sure you do, it’s an amazing thing.” The White Horse’ Inn was before us. “I’ll not be five minutes packing, just you off and find the lads and tell them to get themselves ready. You get Shadow ready to go and I’ll meet you in the tavern of the White Horse in a few minutes. Now be off with you!”
I left him in a daze. The lads I found all together at a stall selling ale in the horse fair grounds and told them they were leaving. I had expected to find them not best pleased, but they seemed not to feel too hard done by. I brought one of them with me to the White Horse to fetch Shadow, and left him to wait for the others while I talked with Jamie.
He was already in the tavern. We didn’t take long to make our few arrangements. I decided that I had too much silver with me already, and sent my share of the profits back with Jamie. I stood by miserably while he had a farewell drink. He managed to chat lightly of the trip back, how it was always so much faster and easier than the trip out; of what he would have to tell Walther, of the new way things would be done now that he was Walther’s partner rather than his foreman and more than partner, his overlord, as I have your voice as well as my own, he said with a wicked smile.
“Now, Jamie, don’t rub his nose in it,” I managed, trying to keep my voice light. “The poor soul is helpless enough as it is.”
He grinned at me. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you had a soft spot in your heart for him.”
“Soft enough to flatten him,” I replied. “But I didn’t kick him when he was down. Perhaps you’re right, I must like him better than I thought.”
Jamie finished his drink. “There now, that’ll keep me on the road until nightfall. Time I was off.” I followed him out into the yard. All three of the lads were there, idly chatting, and holding Shadow and Jamie’s Blaze along with their own mounts. Jamie turned to me. “Now, then, my girl, I’ll bid you farewell,” he said. “Mind what I’ve taught you. Keep your wits about you, and try not to kill that Bors if he cormes pestering you again.”
I laughed, as he knew I would. “I promise I’ll only wound him.” I reached out to him and he gathered me in his arms and held me close. I was taken with a trembling. “Oh, Jamie,” I whispered. He did not speak for a moment, only pulled me to his heart and embraced me with all his strength. “Lanen, daughter, go you safe and keep you safe, and come safe home to me,” he whispered, his voice rising at the end as his throat tigh
tened. . .
The smell of him, the feel of his arms around me, love and strength from my earliest childhood—I could not speak.
He loosed me from his embrace and ‘mounted his horse. Holding out his hand to me, he drew me to his side and kissed me on my forehead like any father seeing a child off into the world. He held my eyes with his one long moment, then turned Blaze to the west gate out of Illara. He did not look back. The lads followed him, waving cheery goodbyes to me, and I soon lost sight of them among all the others on the road.
I dried my tears on my shirtsleeve. It was a strange feeling, being alone at last. My heart was full of his words and his look, but there seemed to be an empty space all around me where Jamie should be, had always been.
He called me daughter.
No matter that Maran never knew, no matter that we could never be sure—he was my father in every sense that mattered.
I wrapped my arms around myself. Despite the early afternoon sun, there was a chill wind blowing in from the northeast. I took it as a sign from the Lady. I would let the winds blow me south and west, to Corli; if chance and the Lady willed it, to the Dragon Isle, following the wind and my dreams—and when I wearied of wandering, at least now. I would always know where home was.
And Jamie would be there.
He called me daughter.
I let the words sink deep in my heart. I could feel them like a cool drink on a summer’s day, spreading through my body, quenching the hot dryness where I held images of a heedless Hadron. Sweet pain, that brought such a feeling.
I smiled. It had been a good parting after all, and the only one that mattered.
I turned back towards the inn, my heart and mind full of time past and time to come, and walked straight into Bors of Trissen.
We had to catch hold of each other to keep from falling. I was glad to find that my heart did not pound as it had before in his presence. Once I had my balance again I shook off his hands.
He was smiling, looking genuinely pleased. “Why, Lady Lanen, here you are! I’ve been looking for you. Won’t you come fairing with me?”
I was on the point of swearing at him when I realised I could look at him without being dazzled. I wondered if that was the result of knowing about his amulet.
He laughed. “Dear lady, why so great a frown? I have no dark designs, I only want to show you the fair.”
“Why so great a deception?” I growled. “I have no time for liars.”
“What do you mean? How did I deceive you?” He looked all innocence.
“You know full well. My friend warned me, for the spell did not affect him.”
“Oh, you mean the amulet,” he said calmly. “Why, my lady, surely you knew—oh, your pardon! I never thought!” He went down on one knee to me, right there in the street, like a prince (or a player). He looked genuinely penitent. “Lady Lanen, I pray you will pardon this fool. I wore what I had purchased to find if it was what I had paid for. I should have realised you would not know of such things, I know they are rare outside of Corli and Elimar. I beg your pardon most sincerely.”
A crowd was beginning to gather. He looked such a fool kneeling there in the road, it was all I could do not to smile at him. An old woman called out, “Take him, lass, or leave him be, but don’t leave him there in the dust!” It raised a general laugh. I reached down and drew him to his feet.
There was more laughter and the people dispersed. “You great idiot,” I said, losing the battle and grinning at him. “A simple apology would have done.” .
“I am truly sorry, Lanen,” he said humbly. “I am not wearing it now, you know.” He grinned at me. “Though that night in the inn, I must admit I thought it was not working. I had hoped for a kiss at least.”
“Be glad you didn’t get one,” I said. “If I had kissed you because of a spell and found out about it later, I might have—well, I should warn you, I have a vile temper.”
Still he smiled. “I may not even hope?” he asked, teasing. I batted at his arm to cover my confusion, not knowing whether to be flattered or insulted. He was still a handsome enough man when he smiled, and his voice at least was no deception. It still had all its power and music, undiminished by the absence of the amulet. With such a natural gift, I thought to myself, he could own the world if he so wished.
“Come then, you deceiver,” I said, smiling. “Show this ignorant country girl the fair, and don’t forget that you’re the one who paid me three times what my mare was worth.”
He laughed and took my arm. “And I shall buy you supper on the strength of it as atonement for my fault,” he declared. And so we entered the fair.
We spent what was left of the afternoon going round the booths and tents. I had never seen so many things before in one place. It was like a swift glimpse of all the places I dreamt of seeing someday. There were silks in all colours and patterns from Elimar—and many things that claimed to be Elimar silk but weren’t (Bors showed me the difference). There was jewelry from the East Mountains, heavy furs from the trappers of the Trollingwood, beautiful boxes and bowls made from· the perfumed woods that grew in the North Kingdom, warm woolens from northern Ilsa. For supper Bors took me to a booth where they sold a spicy soup of fish and roots, a specialty of Corli. It was delicious and I was ravenous. Bors laughed and bought me another bowl. Then in the gathering dusk our eyes were caught by a troop of jugglers passing by, tossing lighted torches in the air and catching them, crying the start of a performance. We followed them to a platform draped with cloth, where the jugglers disappeared and reemerged in costume. We found space on the ground and I watched their play, fascinated. Players never came as far as our village, and everything the bard had said about them was true. I tossed a silver coin in the hat they sent round just before the end and clapped delightedly for them when it was over. Then I looked around and realised that-most of the Merchants were closing their booths.
Bors saw the look on my face. “Was there something you wanted to buy?” he asked. “They are none of them gone home yet, if we pound hard enough on the shutters they’ll open-or we can come back in the morning.”
“No, it isn’t that I wanted anything—but it was such fun to look!” We both laughed. “I can’t believe it,” I said as we walked slowly back to the White Horse Inn. “So many beautiful things all in one place.”
“That’s, why I became a Merchant,” said Bors. He was trying to keep his voice light, but beneath it I heard a genuine passion. “I have always wanted to have beauty around me to keep such things and make them mine so I could see them whenever I wished. Thought I wonder at you, Lady Lanen. I tell you true, I have never met such a woman. To look all day and buy nothing at all I know perfectly well that you can afford anything you have looked at—I handed you enough of my silver this morning. Could it be that in all the fair you found nothing to please you?”
“I have no need of things, Bors,” I replied softly. “I have spent my life surrounded by things and I leave them behind with a good will. I am going to see the world. Having more things means only a larger pack for my back. Since I sent my Shadow home,” I added with a smile, “I must bear my own burdens.”
He looked up at me, his expression unreadable, that glorious voice uncertain for the first time. “Are you a wizard, then?” he asked, his voice catching ever so slightly .
I burst out laughing. “Shadow is the name of my horse,” I sputtered when I could speak. He had been truly frightened! Suddenly I cared nothing for the little deceptions he had practiced on me. Perhaps it was simply the custom of Merchants. I had spent the day talking with a man I had never known, who meant nothing to me and to whom I was only a country lass to be enjoyed as a novelty. I had never done anything of the sort before and I had had a wonderful time. The very distance between us was a comfort.
Do him justice, he laughed as heartily as I. The moon was not yet high, and I could not see his face when he said cheerily, “May you be the only woman in Kolmar who feels no need of my wares, lest my fortune wit
her! For I seek my fortune as a Merchant, Lanen, though I am but a young one as yet.”
“Not so young anymore,” I said lightly.
“Ah, sunlight is my enemy,” he said, and I could tell he still smiled. “True, I am not so young as a man, though my wealth is such that as a Merchant I am barely out of my infancy. Though I think I have found a way to remedy that.”
“To remedy age? Surely only lansip may do that,” I said.
“I meant only to remedy my status as a Merchant—but you are right.” He was silent for a moment, then said, “I am surprised you know of lansip.”
“Even in the north we hear stories. It was lansip that used to send ships to the Dragon Isle, the leaves that preserve life, that restore lost years. But I have often wondered if the tales of their power are no more than legend.”
“No, lady, the tales are true,” he said, his glorious voice earnest and compelling. “So convinced am I of their truth that I have spent much of my fortune outfitting a ship: If you know so much, you must know that this is the year the Storms lose most of their force. My strongest ship leaves Corli in little more than a month to voyage to that island, to bear home to me wealth beyond imagining and the means of life twice the span of mortal men.”
I gasped and grabbed his arms. “Speak you truly, Bors? Your ship leaves for the Dragon Isle this year?”
“I have said so,” he said, command almost smug in his voice.
I laughed. I laughed with delight so vast I was almost singing there in the dark street. I covered my mouth with my hands in disbelief, joy brilliant and sparkling all round mr. I could barely see Bors, but I could feel his confused stare even in the dark. It made me laugh more.
“If you find me so ridiculous, I shall bid you goodnight,” said Bors in a huff. Instantly I reached out to him.
“No, no, please, don’t go, I’m not laughing at you, it’s only that I can’t believe it. Bors, I have dreamed of going to the Dragon Isle since I was a tiny child. Surely it is more than good fortune that brings us together here.”